Caitlin has always loved to cook, and she called me quite frequently during her college years to ask my advice on menus and meals and specific cooking questions. I wasn't surprised. Even as a little child, she was always the one in the kitchen cooking with me and I assumed that I had taught her almost everything I knew. While she was in college, she seemed so competent in the kitchen. Oh, how wrong I was.
So Caitlin, this one's for you, baby. I've watched you in my kitchen these past few months, and there's some stuff you've just got to know!
- No. You cannot eat chicken "rare". Ever. I don't care how much you like it. And it's because I said so. That's why.
- You do not soak wooden cutting boards in a sink of water like you would a roasting pan. The wood gets mad. It's not like you. It really doesn't like long hot baths.
- If your eyes water and hurt when you cut onions, light a candle near you as you're chopping instead of flailing around the kitchen while you scream. The candle thing works. Really. For you, make it a very big candle.
- You do not let any type of meat or poultry sit near the edge of the counter when you own a big dog. Dogs like meat. And they can jump.
- Cooking is an art. Baking is a science. When you're cooking something from a recipe, taste it as you go along (unless it's a baked good like a bread). If you think it needs more or less of something, it probably does.
- Contrary to popular belief, the world does NOT revolve around you. When you are cooking for other people, take their palates into consideration. Not everyone enjoys 10 cloves of garlic in every dish they eat.
- Rachel Ray is not the only chef in the world. I have close to 50 cookbooks for you to choose from, and none of them were written by Rachel Ray. Try some of them.
- A plate full of candied sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese and corn do not constitute a real meal.
- You're not a poor, starving college student any longer. Real Fettucine Alfredo does not come in a box. I do not served processed turkey in my house. I have a refrigerator full of fresh foods. Try cooking with them. You just might like it.
- And last but not least, you're an adult now and it's time you found out. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, and I hope you're not upset. But....kitchen fairies DO NOT really exist. You need to clean up after yourself when you cook.